moses

Before I begin, I admit that I don't know what I want to say exactly. So what I'm hoping for is a moment somewhere in the midst of my future verbal spillage that will pinpoint my intended thought. Ok, here it goes.

I am Moses. At least, I empathize greatly with the pre Red Sea parting Moses. The man who stammered his words, the man who murdered a man, the man who felt like his life lacked complete direction. I can relate to two of the aforementioned descriptors.

When confronted with a situation where I feel I am not in control or am strongly intimidated, my mouth dries up and I lose every thought in my head. I'm sure there are other people who have been through this but when it happens to me, it is a nightmare. I like to be in control of what's around me. I like knowing what my imminent future is. The moment I lose control or lose sight of it, is when my small world begins to implode. I don't know how to react properly yet to tough situations. In the past, I have lashed out in anger and made rash decisions. Reacting that way bothers me because it makes me look irresponsible or mentally unfit, which I'm not. I just wish I knew how to deal with people I honestly cannot stand to be around and I wish the nasty thoughts in my head about those people would disappear.

I struggle with humility. I feel that my job determines my self-worth which is also drastically wrong. A job is a job... right? I feel I was created for something much more so when I have to resort to a thankless job dealing with people I couldn't care less about, I often come home with my soul feeling distraught. I want to do something that actually matters. Some vocation where God can use me. People say this is a season Sean but I say no. I am done with this desert dry patch of my life and I want to walk in the water of the life God intended. Help me get there. Get me out of this. Be the burning bush. Help me to gain control over myself with Your power.

I am someone who needs a fixed date or a deadline because if I don't, I drift and wander until something bothers me enough to make an impulsive decision. I don't want that characteristic. I was to be a man of action, leadership and integrity. I want to work hard but only in the right setting. God is calling me to evangelize. I can feel it my bones. It is like a fire running through my veins. It scares the crap out of me because I don't know where to begin but I know I must. I want to make a difference for the kingdom. At the end of days, I want to hear "Well done, good and faithful servant." This life is short. It is temporary. We don't know what tomorrow brings. I don't know what tomorrow brings but I better be ready.

ok. i'm posting now. good night. thank you for reading.

new demo song

www.myspace.com/ruthandsean - New demo song up! Check it out.

comfortable

I wrote a letter today. I sent it via email to The Chronicle Herald. I felt like yesterday's post was worth cropping down to 200 words in the hope of getting it published in the editorial/opinion section. It would be a relief to be published again because it has been tough not seeing my name in print anymore.

My brother and I are having a good time. We're playing Final Fantasy 12 (yep, we're nerds at heart) and then we will play a game of old school NBA Live 96 on my SNES. It should be a razz.

I'm trying to learn Final Cut Pro. It seems like it will be a challenge. I need to upload some video from our video camera and crop it but I have no sweet clue where to begin.

I look forward to blogging every night now. It releases my inner wild writer!

Fox News. Really?

Tonight, I am remembering four brave Canadian soldiers who were killed this past weekend in the dangerous area of Kandahar, Afghanistan.

Their names are Master Cpl. Scott Vernelli, Cpl. Tyler Crooks, Trooper Jack Bouthillier and Trooper Corey Hayes.

I did not personally know these men of honor but I am eternally grateful for their service to our country. War is a wretched thing. She is bloody, brutal and battered. These men paid the ultimate cost - their lives - to bring peace and stability to a volatile and harsh region.

So it really upsets me when some jackass news commentator from Fox News makes some off-hand jokes about Canada's mission in Afghanistan along with his ignorant panelists. Here are some of their quotes.

Greg Gutfeld said, "The Canadian military wants to take a breather to do some yoga, paint landscapes, run on the beach in gorgeous white capri pants," Gutfeld said with a sneer, adding: "Isn't this the perfect time to invade this ridiculous country? They have no army."

Doug Benson, said he was unaware Canadian troops were on the ground in Afghanistan.

"I didn't even know they were in the war. I thought that's where you go if you don't want to fight – you go chill in Canada," he said.

The story was found on The Toronto Star's website Monday in the most read section.

People like this anger me. It has nothing to do with them being American like some commentators have said. It is their own lack of news judgment and inability to recognize a sensitive situation. Working in the news business, whether it is Fox News or small-town paper news, journalists, editors, news commentators all have a responsibility to research their facts before presenting in a serious fashion or in a parodist manner.

While the comments were delivered on a small segment of a comedic section of Fox News, they were in poor taste. The timing was unfortunate as well.

Let's hope they learn their lesson.

update

Good evening.

Here I am, another Sunday evening resting on my brown couch, basking in the glow from the laptop. Ruth is next to me with one of our cats perched on her legs watching her play the PS2. Playing softly in the background is Sufjan Stevens album Seven Swans. The music calms my soul; it causes me to reflect quietly. Moments of solitude and tranquility are hard to come by and it can sometimes be difficult to actually recognize them and enjoy them.

So, that was my lame attempt at describing my surroundings and previous thought. Moving on.

I still work for Coca-Cola, however, I work four days a week to allow for time to work on other projects I have on the go. Those projects include:

1. A book I am writing about certain parts of life and my take on them. It's similar to Donald Miller but with a heavy approach on the negative aspects of situations. Think a modern day Ecclesiastes with a lemon twist.

2. Writing content for a new website in Halifax dubbed www.halifamous.com. The concept of the site is to focus solely on shakers and movers in the HRM. They include but are not limited to musicians, authors, politicians. Basically people choosing to make a difference in this coastal community. Check it out.

3. Starting my own folk-electronica outfit consisting of myself, electronica and an acoustic guitar. It's called The Emerald City Project and I plan to have something released as soon as I acquire some recording hardware.

4. As of this weekend, I took my photo skills and applied them to real estate photography. It was a learning experience and something I actually enjoyed shooting. Taking pictures of bathrooms, bedrooms and basements is certainly a change from human beings or landscapes.

So yes, those are some of the things I have filling up my spare time with.

Ruth and I are going to Belleville, Ont. in May to celebrate our good friends Joseph Prinzen and Rachael Gregory wedding day. We are choosing the wheels instead of the air because it will be cheaper plus we have a lot of fun on road trips.

We also are planning to head to Boston around that time but we're not sure when.

Ok, that's enough for now.

Chapter fini.