feel like i'm crawling the hills in the shadowlands

Do you ever feel like you don't want to do life anymore? Now I'm not talking about suicide but you know those days where you don't want to wake up but you don't want to lay in bed either? I'd rather have nothing to do over something to do. Nothing to do is easier because if you fail at doing it, it doesn't matter because it was nothing.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I don't know if i have what it takes to be a journalist. They say i have to be passionate and I have to have a keen eye for current events. I also need to be articulate and reasonable and tell the truth. Well as of right now, I don't see any passion in my life. I don't like the fact that i have to "do" something everyday. Sure, maybe it keeps me from going insane...yeah right. Maybe I'm feeling depressed because my teacher, the one who is supposed to motivate me, was the one telling me that journalist's lead a mediocre life. Don't tell me your story please. I have my own to deal with.

And why depress myself with the news everyday? Who wants to hear that a woman shot her five baby children dead, then turned the gun on herself? Who wants to hear about continuing oppression of women in the middle east? Who cares about what the Pope said? Who's the Pope anyway? Other than some religious figure elected by sinners? Who cares? I know i'm ranting but like Isaid, "Who cares"? Other than God, who really cares? Truly and deeply?

Sean