Monday, November 06, 2006

blue sky blues

The air was warm outside this morning. And it was a comforting feeling. Yesterday was bit of a toughie. This week in mind looks like it could be a hectic one. I have a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it. I'm awaiting a response from a local politician so that I have enough sources to back up my story to make it more credible. I have to design two newspages which in reality shouldn't be difficult but I find it hard to listen to my teacher. Just her though. She's a perfectionist.

I'm also feeling blue about life in general. A lot of it stems from my own distaste for what I'm learning. I'm confused. Wasn't this course what I chose to do? I am not enjoying myself. And it's not even the workload. I just find it hard to care about what I do. My good friend Luke said to me yesterday that I need to find my passion. Well how do I go about that? I'm passionate about many things, only I don't think I can make careers out of them. I think I like too many things wheras I should pick out one that I feel exceptionally good at. I don't want to be a quitter because the program is too hard, which it's not...I just don't want to make the wrong choice. People spend a lot of money on educations they don't use yet people don't spend the money they have on educations they could use. I don't want to drop out of my program but I have no real desire to continue. I don't feel cut out to be a journalist.

It could also be that I have a lot other than school to think about. I cannot abandon my marriage. I need to constantly be working at that (which I love), pay the bills and last but not least, my devotional time with God. And yet, the answer is so simple. It's all about what we can do for Him and not ourselves. The rest of life will just follow behind us. Now why is that so hard to apply in reality. It's easy to blog about and then go back to whatever I was doing before I started this (actually I was drinking chocolate milk).

more thoughts to come.

No comments:

Post a Comment