according to Val

I watched a movie today called 'Masked and Anonymous'. It came out three years ago and starred Bob Dylan alongside many popular actors. The movie in whole was terrible but there were some interesting points brought out by the characters. Here's a snippet from the movie.

Jack Fate (Bob Dylan): "Beautiful animals."

Animal Wrangler (Val Kilmer): "They don't have time to bother with the success of getting rich, don't have fantasies of glory, don't borrow money to buy things to decrease the value of while they own it, see, they are beautiful because they just are. They do what they do. Lion don't try to be a tiger; rabbit don't try to do an impression of a monkey. They don't try to be what they are not. Not like us, we human beings. The cheetah, the tiger, the snake, the monkey, the baboon, the muskrat, the bobcat, the pig that's fat, the hippo, the rhino, the dodo, the honey badger, the slithy toad, each one, each perfect in their own original form. Then man came in. Who created him, or for what purpose, is still a mystery. Why is he here? It's a mystery. We know he's trespassing, doesn't know his own place. Of course he doesn't know his own place, he doesn't have one. Man, the bear hunter, the fur trapper, the deer chaser, the baby seal clubber, the dolphin snagger, lowest form of existence, lowest form of existence... He goes around sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. The zoo, the aquarium, they are prisons for the animals, those animals can't learn anything from man, man don't have a thing to teach them. I don't even like looking at human beings, they disgust me so much with their atom bombs, their blow-dryers, their automobiles. They build hospitals as a shrine to the diseases they create. Human beings, along with their secrets, masked and anonymous... If I see a crack in the sidewalk, to me it's more beautiful than any human being. A crack in the mud at the bottom of a sun dried dead lake, I count that more beautiful than any human being. You know what I mean?"

Jack Fate: "Yeah, I know what you mean; it's kind of like a curse being born."

This movie is for Dylan fans only and even then it's confusing. Happy New Year!

the odd Communicator

I am back. My wife and I left for Nova Scotia a week ago yesterday. And it was one of those weeks in my life which surpassed my expectations. I reconnected with old friends and created new memories with my family. I saw who I needed to see and slept very little. The week was short but was even shorter due to all the fun we had. I never realized how great a family I had until I left home over seven months ago. Funny how that works. Advice to future home leavers: Love your parents and siblings and leave on good terms.

My first semester at Loyalist ended Dec. 15. and I passed all my courses which made my holidays a bit brighter! This next semester is supposed to be extremely challenging but highly rewarding. I don't know what to think really about that yet. I am nervously excited.

And now in Sean's spiritual life: God is good to me daily and I'm starting to realize it more. If you can, thank God for every crappy thing that happens to you in your day because He's only testing you out. It is an odd way of communication but at least He's talking to you. How sweet is that? I'll take a conversation in any shape or form with Him anytime.

Early in the morning it is. Off to bed I head.

but this morning I do....

Mmmm..... drinking coffee.

Christmas holidays have been great.

Party today and visiting old workplace.

Bye!

more pictures I especially am fond of

What a beautiful bride! God must love me a lot to bless me with such a wondeful woman! Amen!

The Fab Six - Jason Premseler, Ryan Mc, Dylan Wells, Me Mc, Matthew Mc, Dylan Harris)

Dad, Mom and yours truly. Aren't we a dapper looking bunch?

What a good looking family! Well if you cut out Matthew that is... and maybe my face.

my wedding pictures from July

Check out my sisters website to see some of the many pictures from that glorious occasion!

http://pic2.piczo.com/lindsaymcmullen/?g=20497908&cr=2

What is your mind on?

I can't seem to stay with one setting for long. I'm hooked on change. I am very grateful for the personal customization. It helps me design my page to my liking... so hopefully it will stay like this for a while.

In other news, well there is no other news. Wait, actually there is no snow in Belleville. How retarded is that? Snow, parties and family coming together is what defines our materialistic holidays sadly. There are few who care truly about the birth of Jesus, Christians and non-Christians alike. We are concerned about being with friends and family, exchanging gifts and eating delicious food. And we think that by stopping for an hour or two to remember the infant who saved the world is all we need to do. It's sad really.

Now remember, this is only my opinion, shaped from what I see and experience around me. I hope God forgives me for neglecting Him. Hmm, maybe I could buy Him a gift...

Oh Luke, how we miss thee

This one makes me laugh everytime I see it. European is the worst adjective you could get. It only works if you're from Europe. Luke looks so confused!

I look like an bum who just got a free coffee from Luke. He's thinking, "Man, will this weirdo leave me alone now?"

Two very photogenic people. They are happy the scraggly bum is gone now. And Luke is subtlety giving the middle finger... How rude!

A Politically Correct Christmas Story

I found this great poem on the net. Enjoy!

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.

Author Unknown

a magnetewan morning

We've made it folks, safe and sound. We took a different route to come up here and it was supposed to shave off an hour of the trip...which it didn't. And for the record, I hate Orillia, the town with no clear signs pointing to where you need to go.

Anyway, we got in at 10:23 last night and it feels oh so good to be home, even if it's my wife's home because I love it too. Ruth, Matt (brother) and I watched 'Stealth,' an action/AI type of film. It was a good watch and it was better than I expected it to be. Even Jessica Biel's acting was good...

Word of advice: Never sleep in a room where a fire is going and all doors/windows are closed. It is dangerous not to mention it's incredibly hot in there and you'll sleep very uncomfortably.

Now my wife and I are up and about, hanging out with our sick nephew Steven. I put a wash on and drank some Buckley's in hopes of getting rid of my nagging cough.

Ta ta cyber readers. Seek out the pleasures of life.

Merry Christmas

I just got a haircut...

I brought a picture along with me so the man could have a guide on how to cut. He cut it a little short in my opinion but I don't feel like I wasted $8 because in the past when I got my haircuts, it was only a trim, and it wasn't worth the $12 I paid for. So, this is my new look everyone.

quick little update

I passed my photography course!! 84 per cent yeah!

last day of school!

First and foremost, I thank God for helping me through this semester and getting things done.

To Ruth, thank you for the love and amazing loyalty you show to me every day. I couldn't do it without you.

I would like to thank my Mom and Dad for the encouragement they constantly give me.

I would like to thank my siblings for the lessons I've learned from them and the smiles they have brought to my face.

I would like to express gratitude to close friends for the fun we've shared to keep me going through this insanity.

And last but not least, I would like to thank Macintosh computers for helping me get my assignments done and for just being so darn quick.

.....I just realized I'm free!!!!!!!! Sweet and I'm going up North today. Life is good. God is good.

Merry Christmas everyone.

point form

- Hey everyone. I am in class right now editing some pictures I took at the Ramada banquet this past Sunday evening.
- I am done my Reporting exam...whew! I am now awaiting my final mark
- I'm super hungry and I'm going to eat soon
- School is almost over and I'm looking forward to going up North this weekend
- The beard is coming back

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die

Ok. So I'm listening to Johnny Cash and I really enjoy that morbid line for some odd reason.

This is my last week of school and I am heavily looking forward to the 3 week break. It's been so long since I've seen my friends and family in Nova Scotia. I am sad that I won't be there this year... Oh well, I'll see them soon I guess.

So I've been writing songs again. I went through a dry spell but I am now overwhelmed with songwriting moisture. It feels good. I'm practicing new finger picking styles and trying to create a new chord progression which I now realize is hopeless because there are many other schmoes like me trying the same thing.

I watched the DaVinci Code last night. There were more holes in that story than in a piece of Swiss cheese although I enjoyed Hank's performance because I like all Tom Hanks movies.

And now I must go
To where I do not know
But I should go soon or I'd be a liar
And fall into a ring of fire...

scraggles makes an appearance

when you see a rainbow...

Sean McMullen

This is a picture I took last week.

Buried under it all

Even though I have finished this week, I feel somewhat unaccomplished. Good news though...my story I wrote is being considered for the paper next week. Always a good thing I suppose.

Time is running out. School is coming to a close and I'm heavily looking forward to the break. I need to cleanse myself of journalism for a bit and re-vamp my goals.

It is good to remind yourself that it is ok to fail. We can't excel at everything. Trust me, it is a good experience as much as I hate it. It is dangerous when humans excel in every aspect they set their mind to.

When I was young, I thought failure was the worst possible thing to happen to me. Looking back now, I take it in stride, so I can do better next time.

Ruth is at work till 4 today. I'm at home watching Fresh Prince Season 2 and listening to music. I feel like going somewhere fun today. I have this obsessive desire to constantly be doing something. I need to learn to relax.

Currently listening to - The Normals, "Best I Can". Here's some lyrics from the song that I enjoy.

"I sometimes hide behind my words
Sometimes I’m round the corner from these songs
But words are only words
Like days are only days"

I'm also reminded of a great quote that every Christian should read.

"The best thing that could possibly happen in your life, literally the best thing, is that your biggest, deepest darkest sin, the one you try the hardest to hide, would be exposed on the 5 o'clock news. That way you have nothing to cling to but Jesus, because He's all you've got anyway. Don't try to convince yourself that your sin isn't real, take joy in the fact that your Saviour is real."

- Derek Webb (House Show)

I love it when people get in my face about my faith.

Merry Christmas everyone. Don't work too hard today.

A couple weeks ago...

I arrived early to the event. It was the African International Social put on by African Loyalist student. I went to the cafeteria and sat down, patienly waiting for the night to begin. I started taking my notepad and pen out of my bag to begin writing about the night. I took out my camera to get some photographs of the people setting up. I realized I shoud probably help them set up as opposed to being the creepy guy watching them with a camera. Always create trust with the people in your story.

Students slowly started piling in. I was concentrated on meeting with one man, William Reech, a broadcast journalism student. He is a refugee from Kenya and he came to Canada five years ago. I met with him and introduced myself as a journalist and how I would like to ask him a few questions. We chatted for about seven minutes, talking about his experience in the Sudan (that's where he was originally from) and how the country is complety ravaged by the war. He spoke about the process it takes to come here and how difficult it is. They sit you down and attack you with hard questions about why you want to go and what you'll do here. After we stopped talking, I was glad that he came here because he is a very friendly man. He seemed genuine.

The night continued on. Another man played the congos and sang. Photographers stood around and shot their pictures and so did I. But it was more enjoyable to listen to him play his music. There were little children happily dancing away to the beat of the drums. I think I tapped my foot. I'm not a dancer.

They served us various types of beans and rice which I chose not to eat. I had already eaten beforehand. But the food looked delicious.

Shortly after, four girls began to dance to African music. They were quite talented and danced better than any person I know! Then disaster struck. The man who had been playing the congos earlier started to play again so I went to take some better pictures. I turned on my camera and it said, "ERR 99". I lost all my pictures and my CF card was fried. I left the event early and drove back home, extremely depressed and sad.

And now to make a long story short, the card was replaced for free with a better one, and thanks to photo recovery software, I was able to salvage most of my photos.

I am now in the process of writing my second major assignment for my "Reporting and Newswriting" class. I'll need a lot of coffee to get me through this next couple days. I probably won't blog until then.

friends come and go just like the snow

A good friend of ours, Luke Bruce, left for my home province of Nova Scotia on Monday. We spent the weekend together with our close friends Nicki Chapman and Jason Premseler.

We went to Starbucks, Chumleighs, and the mall. We jammed, played Star Wars Lego and stayed up super late every night. But with the extravagant night life comes the early morning sickness. My wife got the flu and I suffered from over-tiredness.

On another note, it snowed a lot last night in Belleville. And a word of advice: Always carry a snowbrush. It makes your time so much easier. By the way, this is a picture I took. I thought that snow on top of berries would make for a neat photograph.

isn't it unoriginal to post lyrics to the song you love?

Derek Webb - Faith My Eyes

As I survey the ground for ants
Looking for a place to sit and read
I'm reminded of the streets of my hometown
How they're much like this concrete that's warm beneath my feet

And how I'm all wrapped up in my mother's face
With a touch of my father just up around the eyes
And the sound of my brother's laugh
But more wrapped up in what binds our ever distant lives

But if I must go
Things I trust will be better off without me
But I don't want to know
Life is better off a mystery

So keep'em coming these lines on the road
And keep me responsible be it a light or heavy load
And keep me guessing with these blessings in disguise
And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes

Hometown weather is on TV
I imagine the lives of the people living there
And I'm curious if they imagine me
Cause they just wanna leave; I wish that I could stay

And to visit places from my past
But only for an hour or so
Which is long enough to smell the air
To tell the tale and find the door

But I get turned around
I mistake some happiness for blessing
But I'm blessed as the poor
Still I judge success by how I'm dressing

So I'll sing a song of my hometown
I'll breathe the air and walk the streets
Maybe find a place to sit and read
And the ants are welcome company

And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes.

YouTube on your cellphone?

Missed last night’s episode of Conan O’Brian? Care to watch the Michael Richards incident at a comedy club? Want to relive those old episodes of Boy Meets World? If your life is frantic and you don’t have time to watch those videos on your computer via YouTube, you can now watch them on your cellphone.

Verizon Wireless struck a deal with YouTube making their consumers eligible to watch YouTube videos on their phones or upload videos directly to the website. The service will be launched December and will cost $15 a month. YouTube will be a feature through the Verizon’s V Cast service. It will be easy to navigate through the site, just as if you were on a computer.

Uploading the video will be the same as uploading a picture and sending to friends and family. And to send it toward YouTube, you need to enter a small numeric code so your video can be posted. The videos will go through a monitoring process, filtering out any questionable videos such as pornography or copyrighted material.

Verizon sees this as a huge draw to attract people towards purchasing their phones. Their reason for this is that things happen all the time and almost everyone today carries a cellphone. Thus, they realized it would be a good idea to combine the technologies. The world is now literally at your fingertips. With the touch of a few buttons, you can watch any clip you desire on YouTube, provided they carry it.

This is a remarkable plan. It really shows where technology is heading and this partnership is only the first step. YouTube is already a great vehicle for uploading almost anything you want. Now that it is combined with a cellphone, there’s no telling what people will post on the site. We could see footage of protest rallies in different parts of the world or see what it looks like from the top of a mountain.

Video cameras are no longer the only tool making it possible to record events in action. A cellphone is easier to carry around due to its size and shape. Now the industry hasn’t arrived in creating superior video quality for cellphone videos but in time, we’ll see it happen.

I wonder how this will change the face of journalism. There are only so many journalists and we can’t be everywhere at once to cover speeches or events. Any person with a Verizon cellphone can tape what he or she sees happening. Some people might be in the right place at the right time and expose a big secret! And in this day and age, people can post videos right onto their blog, provided it’s not copyrighted material.

The news does not come from newspapers or radio anymore. It is entering the hands of the everyday people. It doesn’t mean we should believe everything we watch because videos can be manipulated and twisted like a picture. We need to verify the information with trusted sources. We need to apply critical thinking to everything.

banana pancakes

Today is Wednesday. I have about 2 weeks or so left of school. It's getting to be crunch time. I still have to finish my second major news story for Rob's class which I've been putting off. I have the information to write it but I'm not feeling like a writer.

I'm sitting in an empty class because I have no friends. Well that's not true. The mad catz behind me are pretty cool. Hey Meg and Mel!

I should start studying for a news quiz. And maybe get something to eat. I'm shtarvin'

peace.

oh Kramer

You’ve really crossed the line this time Cosmo Kramer.

A couple weeks ago, former Seinfeld star Michael Richards performed at a comedy club in Los Angeles. During the routine, Richards got fired up over some comments made by two black hecklers in the audience.

Shockingly, Richards began to lash out at the two men by yelling racial slurs and obscenities. The tirade went on for about two minutes. It was captured on camera-video by a member in the audience. It was put up on the internet shortly after.

Since then, Richards has appeared on Letterman to apologize nationally. He said his comments were fueled by rage and that he was not a racist. He feels shattered about what he did and is now seeking psychiatric counseling to uncover the reasons behind his rage.

He went on Rev. Jesse Jackson's radio program to apologize to the black community in the U.S. and specifically the two men in the audience.

This came across as very shocking. It is appalling! What was going through his mind when he said those things? How bad did he get heckled? Aren’t stand-up comedians heckled at every show? It comes with the job therefore you think an experienced veteran such as Richards would be able to handle it.

There could be many reasons why he said what he said. If you watch the video, it might seem that he was under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Or perhaps the hecklers weren’t shutting up and letting Richards do his bit.

Whatever the reason may be, there is no excuse for Richards actions. He was caught being a racial bigot and is now paying the price.

An issue raised is why did the club let people with cell phones or video cameras in? Comedians say a lot of controversial things in their sketches and any dimwad with a video camera can capture it and put it up on the web, causing it to be a bigger issue than it really is. What about privacy? What about respect? No one asked Richards if they could videotape his show.

In our world today, almost everyone has a cell phone that can capture video clips. Wouldn’t Richards know that he could potentially be taped? If he thought that, it might have changed his attitude that night. A person changes when they have a camera pointed at them. They act in a different manner because they know other people will see it.

What is also interesting is that a African-American can call a white man a ‘cracker’ and not get in trouble for it but once we say the ‘n’ word, we are suddenly prejudice. We really should examine the words and their meanings. Or choose to not say them at all.

The image of Cosmo Kramer is now tainted. Watching Seinfeld is different now because of what happened. It’s really too bad.

i've been listening to a mockingbird lately

"I'm in love. Never been so sure of anything. Then again, could be a tumour in my brain."

ok so I'm in love with Derek Webb's music. That's a line from "Mistake of my life" from Caedmon's "Long Line of Leavers" album. I thought I'd use it to describe my view on his music.

To be honest, I've been challenged in my faith more by listening to Dereks latest album "Mockingbird" than I have by the pastors in the various churches I have been to in the last couple months. He's fresh and his music does not fit the christian norm which I'm quite happy about. Christian music is bland and unoriginal, well most of it but there are a few artists who are turning it around. Check out andrew osenga. He used to be in a band called the Normals and now he's lead guitarist in Caedmons (filling the spot leftover by D.Webb). He just put out a full length cd called "The Morning" which rocks. It is funny and introspective.

Guys like AndyO and D.Webb are making music that takes talent and skill. They're not making music that is blatantly Christian and every "Christian" song doesn't have to be. People today are interested in the music more than what is being said and I think many Christian artists are falling behind in this category. People like Tim Hughes or Matt Redman are pumping out bland worship songs that are unoriginal but please the Christian masses. We need more Christian artists who are willing to create good music so the Gospel can be preached through it. And you don't need to write songs like "Days of Elijah" (which I hate with a passion due to theological issues) or "Better Is One Day" to get out your message. Moderen Christian praise and worship music is dying. We need to change our tune.

If I offend anyone, I'd love to hear feedback. I love an argument.

gee it's about time for an update

This past weekend was a blast folks! The drive up on Thursday night was a bit rough to the extreme amount of fog on the road, especially through Algonquin Park. I drove slower because I didn't want to hit a moose or doe which made the ride a lot longer. But we made it safe and sound and it was great to see Ruth's family again.

My friend Luke also spent the weekend with us. He drove up from Toronto on Friday. Everyone in Liz's (Ruth's sister) house had left that morning to either shop or go play hockey. I stayed behind to do my laundry and cleaned their house for them. It was the least I could do. I know it's a tad weird but I felt like I should. Before the trip, I had bought Matt May's latest album, "When the Angels Make Contact." Consequently, being alone in a huge house, I cranked the music! Check his music out...he might have a myspace page or something.

Anyway, I left Magnetewan to head out to Huntsville which is about a 45 minute drive to meet Luke. We met at Wal-Mart and I bought some rich chocolate mints. I have a weak spot for mints.

Blah blah blah, the weekend was good. Ruth, Luke and I went to North Bay on Saturday to hang out and we went to a neat little coffee shop called Twiggs. It looked exactly like Starbucks. Right down to the color and everything. It was also Ruth's birthday Saturday. She turned 20!

Luke also bought a game called "Apples to Apples," a very fun game where you're given an green adjective card and you have to put 1 of your 7 cards (which are nouns) down, and it has to be what you think best describes it. It is hilarious and fun for the whole family.

We went for a hike on Sunday in Magnetewan in the woods behind Ruth's old house. As we traveled along, we came across a river leading into a small waterfall. It also started snowing that day which made everything look magical. Instead of leaving for Belleville on Sunday, we decided to stay an extra night and leave in the afternoon the next day. That way we wouldn't have to drive in the dark for 4 hours back home and we could spend some quality time with her family.

Now we are back in town. And that's all I have for now.

somewhere north of here...

Yes, I know I stole the title from Caedmon's Call song but I couldn't help it. This weekend, my wife and I are taking the long trek up north to celebrate her birthday at her home! I've got the presents bought and I've been working to finish as much school work as possible so that I won't have to worry about it this weekend. I'll probably be more thankful then, rather than I am now!

I just drank some Five Alive (Citrus). Oh so good. I'm watching Season Six of Friends and Ross has just lied to Rachel about getting an annulment on their marriage. I love this show.

Ruth is ironing a shirt for work tomorrow and I'm only wearing one sock.

We're also looking forward to seeing Lukas this weekend. It's been a while and I'm excited to show him my beard I've been growing.

hallelujah

"Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah,"

- Leonard Cohen

Jesus, out of His unconditional love became our filth on that cross so that we would not have to die. I don't know if that's what Cohen had in mind while writing this beautiful song but to me, it gives me a picture of what it must have been like while Jesus was 'dead'. He was cold and broken and His own Dad had just rejected Him.

So many Christian's have it wrong. Love is not fuzzy a feeling you get when you hold that special someone's hand or realizing that you've fallen madly in 'love' with someone else. To be a Christian extremist for a moment, love is dying to save those you care about the most. (Read the Crucifixion account)

Anyways, take some of your 'valuable' time today to thank the One who made it possible for you to even live and breathe.

new U2 song!

http://download.yousendit.com/A799387458B86434.

Window In The Skies

Bono and Co. deliver once again.

best day ever

I went downtown in Belleville today with my friend Jason. We we're getting out of the car to head on down to Chumleighs. I forgot that my keys were still in the car! Oh what a horrible feeling. So first he tried using paper clips to open the car door through the key hole but alas it was in vain.

So I ran across the street to the library where I explained to the not so lovely receptionists my problem and that I needed a coat hanger. It probably looked so shady. I have not shaven for a while and I was wearing shorts today. Who wears shorts in November? I guess a homeless looking man does.

Anyways, the lady gave me 2 coat hangers. I quickly ran out the story (you know, to make me look even more shady) and back across the street. We tried for a half hour to get the doors unlocked. People walked by, not even saying anything but we got weird and dirty looks. It's understandable. Two guys with coat hangers downtown trying to get into a car? But I wasn't willing to call CAA and pay them for 2 seconds of work. It would have cost $50!

Then this guy named Justin who reeked of pot came along and helped us and we almost had it. We probably would have had the door open if he hadn't been high. Don't get me wrong, he was really nice and weirdly funny.

Then to top off the weird guys helping us list, this older man with a bandana around his neck came up to us and said "We all have telepathic powers," "Why don't you use those to open the door?" We all just looked at him and then looked back at the car, hoping he would leave which he did. Creepy!

Eventually we gave up and called for a taxi to drive us back to the apartment where I had to get the landlord to let us into in so I could retrieve my other set of keys. We ran back to the taxi (for taxis are expensive) and drove back to the car downtown. We opened it up and got the keys out.

Finally! What a day. We were an hour late to class but my teacher understood. We had missed a news quiz which I was worried about so I apologized for my tardiness and asked if I could do the quiz. He shook his head horizonatally. I told him I understood why then went back to my desk, sulkingly.

Surprisingly, he gave me the quiz and said in a gruff voice (for he is a gruff man) "You have five minutes, go." I scribbled the answers hastily and I got 10 out of 10! Sweet! That probably made me look good. anyways it is late and I want to brush my teeth and go to sleep.

I love you all.

all things go, all things go

I fell in love again
All things go, All things go
Drove to Chicago
All things know, All things know
We sold our clothes to the state
I don't mind, I don't mind
I made a lot of mistakes in my mind, in my mind

You came to take us
All things go, All things go
To recreate us
All things grow, All things grow
We had our mindset
All things know, All things know
You had to find it
All things go, All things go
I drove to New York in the van, with my friend
We slept in parking lots
I don't mind, I don't mind
I was in love with the place
In my mind, in my mind
I made a lot of mistakes in my mind, in my mind

You came to take us
All things go, all things go
To recreate usall things grow, all things grow
We had our mindset
All things know, all things know
You had to find it all things go, all things go
If I was crying in the van, with my friend
It was for freedom
From myself and from the land
I made a lot of mistakes

yanked from http://sixeyes.blogspot.com/2006/01/sufjan-stevens-free-mp3s-lyrics_22.html

Sufjan Stevens (pronounced Soof-yan Stevens)

I've been listening to it all week. I'm obsessed.

blue sky blues

The air was warm outside this morning. And it was a comforting feeling. Yesterday was bit of a toughie. This week in mind looks like it could be a hectic one. I have a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it. I'm awaiting a response from a local politician so that I have enough sources to back up my story to make it more credible. I have to design two newspages which in reality shouldn't be difficult but I find it hard to listen to my teacher. Just her though. She's a perfectionist.

I'm also feeling blue about life in general. A lot of it stems from my own distaste for what I'm learning. I'm confused. Wasn't this course what I chose to do? I am not enjoying myself. And it's not even the workload. I just find it hard to care about what I do. My good friend Luke said to me yesterday that I need to find my passion. Well how do I go about that? I'm passionate about many things, only I don't think I can make careers out of them. I think I like too many things wheras I should pick out one that I feel exceptionally good at. I don't want to be a quitter because the program is too hard, which it's not...I just don't want to make the wrong choice. People spend a lot of money on educations they don't use yet people don't spend the money they have on educations they could use. I don't want to drop out of my program but I have no real desire to continue. I don't feel cut out to be a journalist.

It could also be that I have a lot other than school to think about. I cannot abandon my marriage. I need to constantly be working at that (which I love), pay the bills and last but not least, my devotional time with God. And yet, the answer is so simple. It's all about what we can do for Him and not ourselves. The rest of life will just follow behind us. Now why is that so hard to apply in reality. It's easy to blog about and then go back to whatever I was doing before I started this (actually I was drinking chocolate milk).

more thoughts to come.

I love Friends

RACH: Ross, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see.

ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?

CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.

RACH: And I'm in it? Then let me read it.

CHAN, JOEY, ROSS: No!

RACH: Come on.

JOEY: Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her?
[Ross and Chandler stare angrily at Joey, who thinks he has come up with a good idea.]

CHAN: [through gritted teeth] Alright. [clears his throat] "It was summer, and it was hot. Rachel was there. A lonely gray couch. 'Oh, look,' cried Ned, and then the kingdom was his forever. The end."

ROSS: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world.

Phoebe's song.

PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".

[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]

PHOE: [singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!

bad girl turns good

For the sake of context, Ruth had to get her blood taken so we went to the medical clinic today and Luke also came along, seeing as he drove us. I caught him reading this article. It still makes me chuckle.

Is the CD dead?

Step over compact disc. Make way for the digital age. Last week, new ideas were brought forward and discussed at the London Business School Media Summit. Senior executives, investors and consultants from various media industries attended the event.

Alain Levy, the chairman and CEO of EMI Music made the profound statement of the night. He said, “The CD as it is now is dead.” He also said that the industry no longer has the upper hand and that consumers are the ones in control. I can see that.

He also said that CDs need to have more appeal. This could be done by adding more to the CD than just having songs put on it. He also promoted his EMI’s direction, saying that they were stepping forward in producing CD’s with more content.

I thought the obvious, "The CD is dead?" "Didn’t it just begin not too long ago"? It seems that in our day and age, people don’t like running to the store to pick up the new CD by their favorite artist. No, we’re too lazy to run so we’ll click a few buttons and download our favorite track from that artist. We don’t need to buy the whole album. That is a draw for some though. Why would you spend $14 on a CD when you could spend 99 cents on iTunes for one track? It certainly sounds appealing. But what about the artist? Wouldn’t they lose money? If everyone bought one or two songs from their CD, or worse, stole it, what would happen to the band? Where does their revenue generate from?

It began with live music, which people got lazy to go see so they created the record player. They could listen to their favorite band or musician anytime they pleased, but it was a pain to try and find the song they wanted to hear. Plus, the records were huge! Where could you put 100 records? Consequently, they created the 8-track. Remember those? Kind of like the tape player, only 100 times worse. They were too big and clunky. No, whatever it was, it had to be smaller. As a result the tape cassette was forged, making it possible for you to listen to it in your car, on your walkman or on your multi-tasking stereo system. But rewinding and fast forwarding got to be a hassle. People thought, “Hmm…what can we create next that has great sound quality and you can skip to any song you want?” This brought us to the CD. CD’s are great until they get scratched and skip horribly. It can be very annoying. But what else could there be? Everything has been done! But wait! Why not put our songs on the computer where they won’t skip (provided the CD wasn’t scratched when you loaded it on the computer) and download them to an iPod? There are many different versions of the iPod which are each capable of holding a vast amount of music. Some such as the 60 gig iPod can even play movies! But how far is too far? Where will the industry go next? Will music be planted into our brains?

Ruth, Luke and I carved pumpkins

Can you guess which person carved which pumpkin?


It was a great weekend. Carving the pumpkins really topped it off.

I'll give you a hint. It has nothing to do with the order from the title.

it's times like these you learn to live again

Financial woes. Spiritual discontent. Marital or non-marital fights. E-tests. These are just a few things that can knock you off your path to happiness.

I would like to state that I hate the E-Test. Or rather, I hate paying a large amount of money just so I can pass it and drive legally in this province. In Nova Scotia, the only task you need to accomplish is to pass your safety test, then you're a free bird! But not here. Honestly, who really cares about the environment? If I was really concerned, I would stop driving my car. Whoever set the e-test in place should have vegetables thrown at them. If they were so concerned about the environment, wouldn't they try to eliminate the amount of cars being driven? I guess the test might discourage people from driving because it costs a lot to fix whatever is wrong with the car.

Future warning to people moving to Ontario: Have lots o' money

What to do to drive here legally:

Pass safety test
Pass e-test
Change ownership over
Change insurance over (you have 30 days to do this)
Change license over

Tips to get through:
- Make sure your car doesn't suck.
- Know a good mechanic (call around)
- Prayer. Maybe God will fix your car if you pray enough
- Insanity is a must to convince people you need help
- Sweet talk also helps (but not on males)

Anywho, that ordeal is over, thanks to the lovely fellas at Bay City Mazda.

I'm listening to "The Church" by Derek Webb. And I am happy. Good Webbsightful thoughts.

Ruth made me some lovely Hot Chocolate with Cinnamon and boy is it yummy in my tummy.

We are playing Lemmings. Got to go!

Attention all

We have passed our E-Test.

at the mac's house

greetings.

well right now, Ruth and I are watching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip with Matty and his Mom. I'm not really paying attention because I'm surfing through other peoples blogs but it looks interesting. Ruth is curled up in a blanket because she is sick. I am too, so I'm wondering if the spaghetti we had earlier tonight had anything to do with it.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day. We have to take our car back to the Mazda dealership to find out what else is wrong with our car. We need to pass our e-test and the cost of fixing it has been a pain. But we're comforted by the fact that God is helping us through. I'm more worried about my stomach than our car right now. ugh.

When we take our car in, a Mazda man will shuttle us to our destinations tomorrow morning. I'm not looking forward to school tomorrow or this week in general. There is a lot of work to be done. Teachers will be assessing my work, basically to tell me if it makes the grade or not.

While I was sitting in church today, I thought of an idea for a book I'd like to create someday. It would be called "Voices and Faces of Kenya", consisting of profiling photographs of Kenyans and an indepth interview running down the page about their view of African life. I'd also like to contrast the book with another book about North Americans and their views. I'd be very interested in the difference between the two cultures.

It's 10:44 now and I have nothing else to write about.

cold rain / scatterbrain

I think that today will be the last day my stellar Nova Scotia license plate will be on my car. Now that I have my car safety checked, I need to pass an e-test (which I think is ridiculous). No other province has this. It might cost a lot which I'm hoping will not be the case.

I have to be there at 10:30 a.m. at the Mazda dealership. They said they'd help me out.

Well going up North ain't lookin' so good today. Her family is going to be busy and people are away, so it might not work. If not, a Peterborough trip would be a lot of fun.

school is becoming more hectic. I believe I'm doing well in the courses, or at least thats what my teachers are telling me. I really enjoy photography.

The weather today is rainy, cold and cloudy. I love it. These are the best days to do things. You don't have an obligation to go outside although you can choose to. When the rain hits, it makes you want to watch from the window with a cup of chocolate milk.

I should be on my way now. I have a whack load of stuff to do today and the day isn't getting shorter.

artists to check out

James Morrison - http://www.myspace.com/jamesmorrisonmusic

"James Blunt meets Stevie Wonder"

Emily Haines - http://www.myspace.com/emilyhaines

Lead singer of band Metric branches out. The piano really shines through.

Snow Patrol - http://www.myspace.com/snowpatrol

Can't remember that song you heard on Grey's Anatomy? Listen to "Chasing Cars"

Matt Costa - www.myspace.com/mattcostamusic

Buddy of Jack Johnson with a slightly different style. Listen to "Cold December" and "Sunshine"

The Kooks - www.myspace.com/thekooks

Alternative / Indie / Reggae - Need I say more? Oh they're from Brighton, UK

James Yorkston - www.myspace.com/jamesyorkston

Other / Folk / Acoustic - I heard about this guy in Q magazine. Quite the little finger picker.


Most of them are up and coming artists who need their music heard. Plus their music ain't too shabby.

Part 1 of 2 (Album Review)

Artist: Bob Dylan
Album: Blood on the Tracks
Tracks 1-6

It is truly Dylan in his finest yet darkest hour. The albums ten tracks are a story filled with heartache and isolation. Dylan was going through a divorce with his wife at the time and you can really see it bleed into his work.

The first song "Tangled Up In Blue" begins with a recap. He recalls parts of his life and how things used to be. The song has no giant chorus as the verse simply carries into the title of the song.

Simple Twist of Fate - A lament. A song filled with loneliness and confusion. Spoken in third person, Dylan evokes his feelings to the listener, asking for empathy. A brilliant song.

You're A Big Girl Now - The songs simple melody is easily background music if it weren't for the power of Dylan's voice. Best part of song is 52 seconds in where Dylan softly yells "And I'm back in the rain, oh, oh,". This song is best listened to with coffee in hand and a friend.

Idiot Wind - Dylan offers us insight to his genius wit.

"Someone's got it in for me, they're planting stories in the press
Whoever it is I wish they'd cut it out but when they will I can only guess.
They say I shot a man named Gray and took his wife to Italy,
She inherited a million bucks and when she died it came to me.
I can't help it if I'm lucky"

You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When I Go - Sounds like an outtake from the Freewheelin' album. Dylan displays his straightforward guitar playing which shape around his words well.

Meet Me In The Morning - Dylan plays the blues effortlessly.

truthfully. honestly.

Listening to: Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
U2 - Wake Up Dead Man

I feel as if my life is need of change. A spiritual revamp. I feel stale and poignant. As someone who professes to make God first in his life, I certainly fall short. I have no doubt a lot of us do. It's understandable. Why would we put the One who gives us breath to live our puny little lives ahead of us? We have so many more important things to accomplish. I'd rather read a music magazine than His guiding word. I'd rather go to sleep than pray to Him at night. And most definitly, my friends and family come way before He does.

Jesus said this:

"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

And yet, even with this truth thrown right into my face, I only feel somewhat vindicated. This is a sad thought. The created hating the Creator. Who is my life lost to?

Without God intervening in my life, whether I like it or not, I am lost. I am worthless. What confounds me is that He doesn't think so. He loves me unconditionally and I throw that back into His face.

I am selfish. Completly and overwhelmingly selfish. Deep down, I only care about me. And you know what? So does God.

Jesus carried the cross and all my shame in front of everyone. I'm too scared to say His name in class. I feel awkward when I pray in public. I turn down Christian music when non-Christian friends need a ride somewhere.

It is time to take a stand. Christianity has taken a beating for a long time. We are weak-willed and compromisable. We listen to other beliefs yet don't hear our own.

Jesus really is behind the locked door in our hearts. Find a way to get in.

a little webb told me

I began to grow a beard. It is bushy and itchy. It doesn't really look all that cool. I look deranged. My hair continues to lengthen so really, I look like a really manly girl. Now that my facial progress has been stated, I thought I'd share with you bloggers some interesting news...

I wrote Derek Webb an email yesterday. To my sheer surprise, I received a response from David McCollum, who works for dryve artist managment. Here is what he said.

- Hey there, Derek sent this over to me as he is on the West Coast right now and has had little internet access, but wanted for me to at least get back to you and say thanks for the kind words and know we’d love to get up North at some point, the economics always play a factor as you can imagine. Please keep an eye on his schedule and we’ll do our best to get there at some point.

Thanks,

David
dryve artist management, llc
P.O. Box 682546
Franklin, TN 37067

I thought that was worth posting. Now the validity of this still has yet to be determined. I am waiting for a second reply to the response I sent earlier today.

I'm curious about the first line. He said Derek sent this over to him. Does that mean Derek read it but did not respond or does David receive all emails sent to Derek first? I hope he writes back.

Just hangin out with the pals

and I thought I had it bad

sometimes I just need to shut up. Why do I worry about how "bad" my life is? It is not healthy. Today I was driving down Sydney St. and I saw a woman confined to a motorized wheelchair. That was her main transportation. Me? I have a car to get me where I want. She didn't look like a complainer to me. She seemed content. Why am I not content? Maybe I have too many things. The more you have, the more you worry about. I wonder how Mr. Trump feels?

I also saw a boy who obviously suffered from a mental illness.
A blind man walked past me.
A deaf man could listen to the pastor speak. (sign language is such an amazing tool)

And here I am worrying about foolish things like money. I don't worry about those people. It's all about me which is sad. It seems that my wants are in the wrong place. Yesterday, as I was walking home from Parkdale Baptist, I saw a pine tree. It was green and healthy. I looked underneath the tree and saw thousands of brown, dead ones. They fell off the tree. I know this analogy is cliche but it is a good reminder. Cling to the Branch!

{A correction to the last post - "Halo next week" should have read "I got Super Mario RPG! Flippin' sweet!"}

I enjoyed newspage and design today. I think I'm finally starting to understand it which is an answer to prayer. Thank you God.

Ruth is at work until 4 p.m. today so I'm going to burn some cds and all the pictures I have on this computer onto a DVD-R disk because it holds 4 gigs.

I will continue my Mario quest today and then maybe venture down to chumleighs to exchange the crappy controller they gave me and perhaps pick up mario kart for snes seeing as my other copy is in Africa...God bless those kids..... :(

Well thats it for now.

listening to: basketcase - green day
mistake of my life - caedmons call

sean

where the shadow met the sun

hmm. today I think I will pursue a gaming console of some kind and pick up groceries so I can eat. my grandma is coming over soon to drop off some vegetables. i probably should be eating healthier than mr.noodles. he's not nice to the digestive system over a period of time.

anyway, matt and luke, if you guys read this, i hope you're having a grand ol' time in W.V! we miss seeing you this weekend! say hello to andy for me!

oh matt, U2 put out a new dvd this week. ZOOTV tour....it is awesome. Bono and Co. look hilarious in some of their costumes. Halo next week?....

and luke (a.k.a. Biggie) apparantly there is a female version of Harvest moon for Playstation. i'm going to chumleighs to look for it. hahah ruth just said "...you're going to chumleighs?..." oops better run!

seansie

The road on which I travel

It's a long road. It's dirty, rough and seemingly endless. I've been walking it for about 20 years now.

My path seems to have changed from what it once was. I felt secure in my old path because I did not worry about what eating or paying a large sum of money to live every month. I did not have to worry about money. It was taken care of. I was living under my parents. I've now 'grown up' and 'moved out'. I'm a co-dependant.

I don't why I can't look at the bright side of my life now. I am married to a beautiful woman who loves God, I have a roof over my head and I am going to school to gain a better sense of life and a better job. I don't know right now what I will do with this diploma once I am finished but I know that'd I'd like to have a job that would let me provide fully for Ruth.

Deep inside my heart I know that God should be the first most important being in my life. I feel that I should read His word everyday but I don't. No, I'm too caught up in my own life. I dont' want that anymore. I want a life that has God written all over it. I can't do it by myself. I just can't. It's too hard. I need You. I need direction. I know that You know what my life will bring.

I know that there are many different paths but I just hope You'll guide me onto the right one. I'm reminded of a lyric in a song that Derek Webb wrote, "I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes." My heart yearns for the faith it knows I have.

I journey on.

Oh Dear

Life's seemingly pointless miniscule chore has struck again!

This time, it is in the form of changing over our insurance to Ontario's insurance. I thought we could slide under the radar on this one but I guess not. This means a change in vehicle license plates and saying goodbye to my beloved Nova Scotia license plate. How sad.

The Ontario license plate is ridiculous and make you want to rip your eyes out. Well not really the latter but come on! They could have done better. Who decided to put a small crown on the plate? Yes, I know that I make things seem more difficult than they normally are and this probably won't be a big deal. I know I'll come to this conclusion in a couple days but for now AHHHH!

Listen to Matt Costa. He's a fun little jamboree waiting to be listened to.

family of five

ok. picture this for a reality show. it's like big brother only way cooler.
show title: family of five
contestants - 10 year old Brazilian girl
- Russian Cosmonaut
- Nazi
- Sucessful Chinese Business Man
- White trash female

the contestants would participate in a series of games such as three-leg races, iron man triathalons and tag. of course there would be no real point to the games, it would just be a test of each contestants patience and sanity. each week the members of the house would write down who they would want to vote out of the house on a piece of paper and then be forced to trash it. no one gets voted out in this game. the game would go on forever. of course the games dynamics would change because the 10 year old Brazilian girl would get older, the russian might learn some english and the white trash and chinese business man would most likely get married and have half-white trash semi-sucessful business children.

I think Aslan missed that one...

poor little lion.

a picture is worth a thousand words...

...but i don't think a thousand words can describe this one.

feel like i'm crawling the hills in the shadowlands

Do you ever feel like you don't want to do life anymore? Now I'm not talking about suicide but you know those days where you don't want to wake up but you don't want to lay in bed either? I'd rather have nothing to do over something to do. Nothing to do is easier because if you fail at doing it, it doesn't matter because it was nothing.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I don't know if i have what it takes to be a journalist. They say i have to be passionate and I have to have a keen eye for current events. I also need to be articulate and reasonable and tell the truth. Well as of right now, I don't see any passion in my life. I don't like the fact that i have to "do" something everyday. Sure, maybe it keeps me from going insane...yeah right. Maybe I'm feeling depressed because my teacher, the one who is supposed to motivate me, was the one telling me that journalist's lead a mediocre life. Don't tell me your story please. I have my own to deal with.

And why depress myself with the news everyday? Who wants to hear that a woman shot her five baby children dead, then turned the gun on herself? Who wants to hear about continuing oppression of women in the middle east? Who cares about what the Pope said? Who's the Pope anyway? Other than some religious figure elected by sinners? Who cares? I know i'm ranting but like Isaid, "Who cares"? Other than God, who really cares? Truly and deeply?

Sean

bombman

my philosophy is this: don't dream big if you're not going to think big. why torture yourself with "maybe's" and "what ifs"? why do you not take seriously those dreams and aspirations? i'm confused. people will take seriously the mediocrity that life hands them yet when a chance comes along that could able them to pursue their dream, they shrug it off, prefering to stay in their comfortable crap bubble they've built around themselves. i want to play guitar in a band. i want to write music and sing my songs. i want to be affirmed of my talent. i want to see cities around the world. i don't care which one as long as it's not in eastern canada. maybe rome or moscow.

i'm torn inside. i'm confused about life. i'm a slow learner. i'm afraid of what i cannot see. i'm a doubting thomas. and that's ok for now.

sean

it's amazing how much it hurts

oh man. this day really picked me up. my dad came to visit Ruth and I. we have been looking forward to this day for a long time. actually since my family left to go back home in august. it was short but sweet. i went to class this morning while dad and ruth hung out, then they came and rescued me. We went to quiznos for lunch where i had too many hot peppers. they killed my stomach! i was then dropped back off at school for a class i didn't have to be at. i hate that. after school was finished for the day, they came and picked me up and dad and i dropped ruth off at home so she could bake her delicious apple crisp. then dad and i went to the mall and hung out. father/son time. we walked around various outlets and then walked into old navy where he bought me a great beige jacket. it is very chique. he also bought me some t-shirts that i liked.
thanks dad :) . we then went back to pick up ruth and headed off to grandmas to vist. from there we went to east side marios and had a great dinner together. dad got kung pao chicken which wasn't hot until he had a bite of my chicken cacciatore. he gave me gifts from my family - lindsay gave me a lovely card, matt gave me a cd from the raconteurs, ryan bought me a future shop gift card, and mom and dad gave me a card and a derek webb dvd. thank you thank you. after supper, we went back to our place for apple crisp which was amazing. we chatted and looked at pictures and talked to mom/lindsay on webcam. and then before you knew it, we were hugging dad goodbye...i didn't cry right away. its painful you know, you wait all this time for a day you think will last forever and then its over. when ruth and i got back inside, we cried. and laughed at our kittens. i hope dad has a safe drive back to toronto tonight. i'm sure he will. we can't wait to see him again and the rest of my amazing family. i really miss my dad a lot tonight.

I love you very much Dad, Mom, Ryan, Matthew, Lindsay.
you're always on our minds.

sean

luke check out this link - get your hudson fix

just thought you'd be interested. i think there are more on the website.
love ya man,

sean

http://www.gracechapel.ns.ca - then go to "listen",
then scroll down until you reach hudson

simple twist of fate

yes life can take unexpected turns. the cards aren't always flush. just enjoy those moments you have. anyway, right now i'm listening to franz ferdinand and thinking about my good friend matt. man i had such a good time two years ago with him and andy. he's a good guy. and ladies, he's single but not looking right now. matt if you haven't got the hint yet, i love ya man. you'll have to come over for a keith's and franz and chappelle. it'd be a rip rootin good time.

also i miss jay a lot. best (male) roomate ever. and just remember i watch you when you sleep.

and luke. oh luke, i'm so glad you're here in ontario for now. we absolutely love having you over every friday. have fun with jay this weekend! hug him for me and give him a little toosh squeeze. that's all i have to gay for now.

sean

artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

I thought that was funny quote. Saw it on a sign earlier this week.

walking through the desert is a painful process. the sand scorches the soles of your feet and your skin begins to burn. water is nothing but wishful thinking. even the night brings no relief. it grows colder by the minute and the once-warm sand dunes no longer hold their warmth. you feel lost, without hope, knowing that no one knows you are stranded out here. it's a pretty discouraging feeling. but you still keep walking. you don't know why, but you feel compelled to. i mean, you came all this way, you're not going to turn around now. besides it would be pointless, you're most likely past half of your trek. on and on, dragging your deadweight body along. then, when all hope seems to have escaped your body, you spot a small pit with water inside of it. you taste it and it tastes beautiful. you gain moisture back into your body and you rest. as your body regains health, you take all the comfort you can because in time, you will be back on your desert road. this is how i describe my journey through life. a never ending test of devotion and discomfort to the One you walk towards, even if you can't see Him.

sean

more than sparrows

we my friends are more than sparrows. i never really realized that until a couple of days ago. Jesus knows every hair on my head, why? I don't know but he does. I guess that comes with being omniscient. you end up knowing a bunch of pointless things. if i had to guess, i'd say 43 323 hairs. but you also know the heart of every man. kinda cool. and i'm going to stop now.

i've got this song stuck in my head, a really funky groovin number - Ophelia by The Band, and i like the lyrics. but it really is better to listen to it. if you have limewire, download it and enjoy.

now i drift into the shadowlands

sean

you know that scene where...

it seems my mind is full with movie/television quotes. Sometimes I think I'm incapable of creating my own valid, insightful quote. Anyone can sputter a random group of words out of their mouth and make them sound intelligent. I guess whatever floats your boat. I seems that in my quest for originality, I end up back where I started. And now that I'm in the boat of unoriginality, I start rowing back to the shores of uncertainty. There are so many things in life that I'd rather not "have to do" such as pursue an education or drive to the grocery store. I would not like lay in bed all day either or read the latest newspaper article. Who cares about being up to date on current events? Why does it really matter? I know I'm an apprenticing journalist and I "should keep in touch with what happened today because it's part of my job" but...in the end, after it is all said and done, what did I really do? I guess I'll find out then. But I still know that I'll be spending eternity with the One who saved me from this world. And that my friends is an astonishing reassurance that I can rest on.

and as I read this over, I don't see how it ties together but are blogs really supposed to? who read them anyway?


Godspeed,

words of a skeptical optimist

is it really what I want?

I can't pass judgment on today simply because it was only the first day. I can tell you however that I have never felt more alone in a long time until today. At lunch, everyone was supposed to go to the field and grab a sandwich. I went with the hope of perhaps meeting someone and that did not happen. I guess I lack the courage to interact with stangers. Then I asked myself this question, "Is it such a big ordeal to walk to up to somebody and say "Hey, how are you"? Well to me it is. I was terrified. Everyone is nervous yes, but not like me. My insecurity comes out of me like sweat. I really do want to hang out with new people but I'd rather not do all the pre-friendship stuff. Tomorrow I have a chance to make new friends. The journalism classes are going to the Frinc Centre and are to spend the day getting to know each other. I'm fine with that. We're carpooling to go there and I'm bringing our car. Most likely I'll play some cool hip music so that whoever rides with me think I'm cool. Very junior-highesh in my opinion but hey, whatever. I miss my family and friends.

sean

here on the verge

here I am. Underneath everything, I am honestly anxious and frightened about what tomorrow holds in store. You see I am going to college again. This time I'm going to be studying Print Journalism. Why? I don't really know yet, maybe for the neat status of being a "journalist". I respond to people who ask what I want to do with it that I want to fuse both my love for music and writing together and see what becomes of it but really, I'm just a fellow human trying to make his own way in this world. I feel like I'm walking through a valley that I've created. My mountains are "what I should do" and my path is flithy with doubt and fear. This leads to the cave of uncertainty. My clouds are grey with animosity towards the very institute that will teach me. I don't know why I feel this way. I guess I'd rather be spending time with close friends and family, learning from them. I'd like to go on adventures to exotic regions around the globe or go to any band concert I want. An education and money really determine a lot in our secular world today. It's too bad. If only those people would realize that everything in this world will not last. At least I know that much. Take that thought with you today.

sean

what a wonderful weekend

oh I had the greatest time in a long time this weekend. I just want to state that I love (in no particular order), Jay, Luke and Matt. Remember the flying fox? More like the flying caterpillar! Also trying to jump up onto a bar which I sadly and hilariously enough could not make everytime. I thouroughly enjoyed hiding when Nicki and Nic-kol-la (haha) came back from Tim Hortons. Sneaking around is well...sneaky. The next day was wonderful as well. What can I say? Chumleighs, Stinky Bizarro Chumleighs, parousing around downtown Belleville with true blue buddies and of course creating Jay's costume (Luke, all I have to say is FELT). Which reminds me, can you pick up a Red Gold Plated Crown with the words inscribed "I'm Yo King"? Thanks! All of us later went back to Matt's house to fellowship with eachother. Dinner was good and so was the rest of the stuff ;). We stayed up way too late watching friends season 2 but it was still fun. I really enjoyed talking with Luke late last night. I always felt comfortable with him. I love ya man! My wife and her best friend Nicole stayed at our place while I hung out the night at the Mackays. The first night apart! Egads. ehhhhh it was ok.

well till then,

sean

paranoid humanoid

i hear i'm paranoid. the voice tells me that inside my head. it doesn't take much to send me flying into absurdity. it's just that i'm scared. scared of this life. i shouldn't be really, i've got God to depend on and trust in but i wonder if i know if thats enough. deep down i know it is. my beautiful wife made a brilliant comment today (edited now due to lack of memoire) - why should i worry about serving man? it doesn't get me anywhere. why should i worry about pleasing other people because they're most likely giving me advice so that they can hear themselves talk and they will ALL have a different opinion. so what's a man to believe? God is that HOLY and DIVINE answer. He's all I will ever need so how come doubting sean does not believe? (pardon the third-person dialect). I was watching boy meets world tonight and cory matthews made a good point about allegiance. whats the point of aligning yourself to some tradition or man if you don't know what it means? this in turn prompted the bigger question: what and who is my allegiance to? Jesus Christ? the internet? writing? music? government? surely not to democracy. i'm frustrated with myself and my inability to choose the right path although sometimes, just when it's quiet enough in my strident heart, and my eyes are clear, i hear Him, and I see Him saying, "Sean, my friend, I am at the door and I'm putting my sandals on your shoe rack". Jesus is real folks, real enough to bring me to tears. it was my lustful thoughts, my anger, my dislove for His people, that literally nailed Him. piercing through actual flesh and bone just so that I, Sean McMullen would have the chance to spend the rest of my life hanging out with Him. thats really something to think about. i know i think about it sometimes.

sean

wake up dead man

Earlier today, I took some time to read in Ephesians. Granted I was going in with the mindset that I had to read because that's what a good Christian does but I was actually looking for enlightenment. I found a great passage concerning light. Paul makes note that we (Christians) were once covered in darkness. There was no light at the end of our tunnel. No skylight in our ceiling. But when we became saved, our lives were put on display for everyone to see. Or at least a lot of ours were. Light exposes everything wherever it shines. I'd like to use an analogy I created:

Remember when you were a child roaming around through a nearby forest looking for treasure or interesting animals? You'd look near trees and in the brook. You could walk past a rock and not think anything of it because it's a rock. There's nothing special about a rock or is there? If you were to lift the rock up and look under, you might find an entire ant army or a family of salamanders! Or if you crack open the rock, you'd be able to see what gems were beneath its hard surface. My point I'm trying to make is this: We are like dull rocks with life beneath our surface and beauty within us. All we need is someone to crack us open or lift us up and the light will shine down upon us. This is what Jesus did for us on that cross. I guess you could say He found the amethyst in me. Or the salamander.

I challenge you today to wake up from your deceased state.

sean

i'm incapable

An interesting quote I came upon from Mr. Webb.

Many Christians are more comfortable following artificial religious laws rather than enjoying the freedom that Christ provided in his resurrection. Christ came to give us freedom, yet many of us live as slaves, blinded to the beauty of our Christian liberty, unable to see past our 'new laws'.

Derek Webb


check out his "A New Law" video on www.youtube.com

soon (I love spiderman)

I love that word. The procastinators favorite word. I'll be going to school soon. I'm extremely unsure of what my year holds for me. Better yet, what life holds for me. Being married is fun I will say. Always having a friend around to hang out with or fight constantly with certainly keeps you on your toes. I no longer have to worry about first impressions with other females which is a nice feeling. I'll just be myself. Take it or leave it.

This weekend was a good grain of amusement. Jason the Premseler came down from Whitby! Luke and Matt went to pick him up of Friday. Hanging out again was just like the old days only I'm married. We went out to East Side Marios that friday night and I think the waitress was hitting on me. I only knew that because all my lovely friends told me that she was. I guess being married also makes you oblivious to outside female contact. Also, all girls I see don't even compare with the eternal beauty of my amazing wife Ruth. She's great.

I'd like to say to Luke if you read this that I really enjoyed web-slinging this weekend through New York with you. Fighting the cronies and baddies was enjoyable to say the least. I'm looking forward to the coming weekends as well. I will now ehhhhhhhhhhh call you Spider-Luke...man.

This is all I care to write right now.

sean

ehhhhhhhh

I think my brother is well ehhhhhhhhhh.

that's all I have to say today.

sean

It will never be the same.

This morning was an event-full one. I woke up rather early so that I could drive out to my grandparents to help them move. It put me into a state of melancholia. No longer will I be able to drive out to their place and go for a swim or eat french toast in the morning. What will my brothers and sister look forward to each summer? Sure my great-aunt and great-uncle will still be there and we can use their dock and raft but it won't be the same. I hate how the best things in your life change. It will never be the same.

On a lighter note, I'm looking forward to hanging out with Matt and Luke today if possible.

sean

good morning good morning

this morning was a good morning. well not at first. Ruth and I were stressed over those miniscule things in life that you have to do. Things like find her birth certificate which we couldn't find. The government peeps said they needed it if she wanted to change her SIN card. Ugh...Well, anyway, we read part of 1 Timothy and prayed together afterward about what was bothering us. We gave our problems to God and trusted Him to help us. Within 7 minutes or so, we found the birth certificate which meant we could move on to other chores! It doesn't sound like a big deal but it's so neat to see God work in the small things. Everything is important to Him.

now I must haste! (have to clean apartment so Luke doesn't think we're slobs)

sean

my head's pounding.

I thought I'd write about whats currently happening. I'm listening to the white stripes album "elephant". Quite good in my opinion. A lot of upbeat numbers to hum along to. My lovely wife Ruth and I are going to be watching "Back to the Future III" which I am very excited for. It's been a long time since I've seen that movie. Probably when I was a kid. I've always liked time-travel movies. They're so unrealistic which makes them great! Fantasy is fun. I'd recommend watching "A Sound of Thunder" if you're into time travel and world destruction by ape-asours.

Anywho, that's all I have to say right now. I'm going have some tea soon. I hope it cures the headache!

Ob-la-di

Sean

12:22 am - I am like a bull

here we go. it's too bad impatience wasn't a virtue. I'd be quite virtuous. It runs through my body like warm milk. Bulls are impatient or maybe they just have a quick temper. But if some ugly moustache donning guy started waving a red towel at me, I would get frustrated too.

Wikipedia had to say this about impatience:

"Impatience is an opposite of patience."

Thanks, that really helped. This forced me to continue my search. This is what they said about patience.

"Patience is the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset, or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties."

"Without becoming annoyed," I found that interesting. I think you can be annoyed and still be patient. Life is annoying in itself! Anything can go wrong, nothing is set in stone. Your couch will mark the wall which means you have to go buy a better paint than the landlord used to paint it before you moved in! The only thing set in stone in this life is that a man, God's own son Jesus came to this earth a really long time ago and died for me and my impatience. And my anger. And my rage. Yes and it would go on and on. He set me free from death and gave me life. Eternal partying with Him! Just think, I'll be able to drill a screw without the bit coming out! I'll be able to drink coffee without spilling it on my clothes! I won't have to tell my brother to turn the volume down! All annoyances gone!

They also said this...

"Annoyance is an unpleasant mental state that is characterized by such effects as irritation and distraction from one's conscious thinking. It can lead to emotions such as frustration and anger."

Well I've copied and pasted enough now. Time to go jump onto my bed and rest.

sean

This one's for luke

Ah the chance to blog again. Tis so sweet. Ok, this time I'm excited. Now that I have a fully capable computer to use, I am going to try this online stuff. People seem to enjoy themselves on it. They write down whatever they feel which could be a good thing. Most likely, some are excercising their own literal demons and others such as myself like to drag on about petite things during the course of our day. I like it because it's a way to keep in touch with friends and also gain new ones. Maybe they were interested in what you said and you could divulge a bit for them or they just want to read what you wrote. Either or, blogging can be fun. But with great power, as Uncle Ben said to Pete, comes great responsibility. Although I doubt it. Having great power, well is just a nice thing to have in my opinion. Uncle Ben should have said "Just have some fun!"...

I have been listening to this catchy song lately - perhaps you've heard it? Steady as she goes by the raconteurs. Jack White's new band. It's easy listening tunes. Not classical nor complicated but simple rack n roll. go to www.myspace.com/theraconteurs it's good. if you don't like then complain.

oh yeah! i'm also working on a new song. key of E (the one I sing in easiest). sounds pretty.

have a good day parousing other peoples blogs fellow readers.

sean

I let last night go

Sorry folks. Well yesterday was an excruciating normal day. We (collective unit) did some errands and ate at Wendys.

Still waiting on birth certificate so I can receive my marriage license. I have just recently typed up my eternal vows to the woman I profess to love. more on this story later jim.

take care,

sean

Forward to the past Christopher Lloyd!

Currently in two weeks, well now 13 days, I Sean McMullen will be getting married to an amazing woman. I will attempt to chronicle my life up until then depending on availability of computer technology and my own personal will. I love writing and I need to put myself into an enviroment which will challenge me to write. I thrive on pressure. Am I lazy? No, I'm just unmotivated. Sure I don't write about what trick my dog did today or the color of my fiancees sister's bathroom towels but I have my reasons. What is important...and is it worth putting my two dollars worth into it...are the questions I'm asking. Coming this autumn, I will be attending Loyalist College to pursue a diploma in Print Journalism. I'm hoping this program/enviroment will push me to write more then I ever have in my life. I'm interested in ideas and creating within a team but I also love independence. I should probably learn some BIGGER words to infiltrate my current vocabulary as to sound more ingenious.

Good night and good morning you stick.

sean