It's a long road. It's dirty, rough and seemingly endless. I've been walking it for about 20 years now.
My path seems to have changed from what it once was. I felt secure in my old path because I did not worry about what eating or paying a large sum of money to live every month. I did not have to worry about money. It was taken care of. I was living under my parents. I've now 'grown up' and 'moved out'. I'm a co-dependant.
I don't why I can't look at the bright side of my life now. I am married to a beautiful woman who loves God, I have a roof over my head and I am going to school to gain a better sense of life and a better job. I don't know right now what I will do with this diploma once I am finished but I know that'd I'd like to have a job that would let me provide fully for Ruth.
Deep inside my heart I know that God should be the first most important being in my life. I feel that I should read His word everyday but I don't. No, I'm too caught up in my own life. I dont' want that anymore. I want a life that has God written all over it. I can't do it by myself. I just can't. It's too hard. I need You. I need direction. I know that You know what my life will bring.
I know that there are many different paths but I just hope You'll guide me onto the right one. I'm reminded of a lyric in a song that Derek Webb wrote, "I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes." My heart yearns for the faith it knows I have.
I journey on.